miracle week

having been over 3 weeks in our new house without a washing machine, freezer or working cooker, i officially christen this week 'miracle week'. the gas man came yesterday and fitted the cooker, and our washer dryer turned up today - the fourth delivery date given to me in as many weeks (the previous three dates each having been revoked due to 'operator error' or 'stock problems' or 'insert excuse here').

the bonus was that the washer dryer arrived with an unexpected companion - the fridge freezer (apparently still on a three-week stock delay as of last week). i could barely believe it and i darent make any sort of exclamation lest they load it back into the van and drive off again. of course, the doors were on the wrong way around, but that's bound to happen. (and of course, i had to re-hang them for another escapade of manliness).

thought for the day: don't buy from boots kitchen appliances. cheap prices become infinitely expensive when goods do not materialise.

politics

so politics. i have to admit, it's not a subject i often embroil myself in. however, today i have been alerted (credit - dj paff pastry) to a website that performs quite an interesting and useful function.

many of you will remember the makepovertyhistory campaign, and how supporters were often encouraged to lobby various mps simply by sending an [optionally pre-written] email through the makepovertyhistory website to show support for the cause.

www.writetothem.com offers exactly that service - free of charge - for you to contact your own mp from the comfort of your executive leather desk chair (regardless of whether it has inbuilt massage function, stereo speakers or mini beer cooler). enter your postcode, and you get a list of your local and central government representatives. a couple of clicks and a few taps later, you've sent your mp a personal email on a subject of your choice.

great service - so easy and quick to get your voice heard. but what i'm more impressed with is the sister site - www.hearfromyourmp.com. if you want, you can have your name added to a list of people in your area who want a regular forum with their mp. wait a minute... you havent got the time to attend meetings? not into politics? well it's not exactly taxing (no pun intended). yep, you've guessed it - it's entirely online.

every time the number signed-up people in your area reaches a 'milestone' figure (25, 50, 75, 100, 150, ...) the website sends an email to your mp telling him/her that this number of their constituents want to know what they're doing with their life. whether or not the mp responds is up to them - but sooner or later they will need to, or risk their reputation (and potentially, their seat). when they do respond, their message is posted online for all to see.

i signed up today - happening to be the 50th person in the wycombe area to do so, and so triggering an email to mr paul goodman.

check out the league table for the uk to see how many people in your area want to know what your mp is doing with his/her life. and better, see whether your mp even cares that his/her constituents care. i think credit is due here to my former mp - david liddington (aylesbury). having received only one email request to interact with his constituents (only 34 of his constituents have signed up) he has posted 4 messages over the past few months - one of the highest totals from any mp. not only does each post detail his current work and focus in parliament, he goes further to openly ask his constituents to post comments/feedback and to contact him with any queries or concerns.

but so far he has no comments.

so come on aylesbury, give him his due! - here's an mp who's actually asking you how you want your country to be run. isn't this the whole point of the site in the first place? and further, isn't it what hundreds [if not thousands] of people around the country want to see?

very often we are so quick to react when something goes against us. we complain, we moan, we complain, we lobby, we demonstrate, we complain, we petition, we want our voices to be heard. how often do we support, thank, congratulate, and encourage - even when they are asking what we think?

salvation busters

the other day i re-stumbled ('to re-stumble': one of the less common verbs...) across this offering by friend and fellow cheesemonger timothy light esquire. i know it's not new, but believe me, it's still laugh-out-loud funny.

[aside: you could be forgiven for not recognising charlie hall's 'salvation' [sample]. on the other hand, if you don't recognise the 'busters', shame on you (were you alive in the last 20 years?)]

in today's news...

in today's edition of the times there is a free booklet extracted from the 9/11 commission report. It's titled 'the official cartoon' and tells the story of 9/11 in classic comic-book style. if you have a chance, pick up a copy (- if you're buying it merely for the comic, just look at it as a free 96-page report of events from around the globe coupled with 3 free su doku puzzles)

i was initally a little taken aback to find one of the most notable and shocking acts of contemporary genocide depicted in a style more commonly associated with superman.

however, in reading the first line of the cartoon's 'forward', all becomes clear:

"it was the goal of the commission to tell the story of 9/11 in a way that the american people could read and understand."

point taken.

grrrr

so, gas ovens. there's an interesting topic.

well, we bought one and had a firm delivery date for yesterday. it arrived nice and early in the day, but didn't appear to come with a gas pipe. now up until recently, i always understood gas cookers to come with a hose poking out of the back of them, which you simply plug into the bayonet fitting on the wall. push down, turn, 'click' and robert is most certainly your mother's brother.

but no. bobby is no longer your cousin's dad.

you see, without an obvious gas hose, off i go to the plumb centre who sell me one for fifteen english pounds and reliably inform me that a new cooker doesn't come with one because it's against current legislation to fit it yourself.

how hard can it be?

well, it appears that this 'new legislation' has meant that manufacturers now make it deliberately difficult to fit yourself in order to keep their friends the CORGI men in business. [and no, I don't mean these corgi men or these corgi men.] Instead of moulding a hose safely onto the cooker in the factory, they now leave a screw-fit hole for your separate hose to be installed. having screwed in the hose and tightened hard with a spanner, all appeared well. but unfortunately, a very faint gas smell is...well...smellable if you put your nose right on the joint. and i mean very faint.

having looked online, it appears a liquid sealant is required, or at least some sort of tightness test performed by our canine-related friends to ensure safe installation. but why? what's wrong with a bayonet fitting? and even if the manufacturers do decide on a fully detachable hose, what's wrong with a bayonet fitting on both ends?! it's as easy as fitting a lightbulb.

but no.

all this new scheme therefore achieves is that it takes a very safe procedure (hose already attached to cooker, plug in a bayonet fitting, turn and 'click') and replaces it with a very-simple-looking-but-potentially-life-threatening-procedure (for the majority of men, who, like me, will see how simple it looks and do it themselves) in an attempt to create a cash-cow for Mr CORGI.

but here's the thing: the leak is so inconspicuous you don't notice it. even with my nose right next to the pipe, i was still questioning whether any gas was escaping at all. so it's not even obvious if you've done it wrong.

and at the end of the day, you pay. the upshot is that i will be down £80 for some tail-wagging man to put some sealant on a hose and screw it into a cooker. now if that's not a money-making scheme, i don't know what is.in the meantime, we still don't have a working oven. ho-hum.

grrrr. well let's just hope he doesn't make a dog's dinner of it...

we're in

three days of mayhem and we've arrived on the other side of town. having been all "ikea'd up" and moved in by many happy helpers, we finally slumped down yesterday afternoon to catch up on some well deserved tv. two hours later i woke up with neck ache, to find some strange antiques roadshow history show playing instead of the programme i was in the middle of watching.

so i pose the question: if a tv show plays in a forest with nobody watching it, how old is the hard-set washing line in the back garden that won't move an inch? answers on a postcard...