100 things we didn't know this time last year

whilst browsing the bbc news website i came across an article which a number of journalists have probably had a lot of fun putting together. and i must say, it has enriched my life. i mean, before today i would have guessed that in the 20 most popular names for boys born in england and wales you'd find names like thomas, james, william, rhys and lets face it, dafydd. 'mohammed' on the other hand, would not have rolled straight off the tongue.

embarrassed by your irrational arachnophobia? give yourself a break! nicole kidman is scared of......butterflies apparently. hate computers? the queen's never even used one. think you're extravagant? tim henman owns a tennis court he's never even used, and the average britton will spend £1,537,380 in their lifetime and buy 3.2 cds a year. 3.2? i'm not even a massive music listener but i'd say there must be some people buying negative amounts to make up for my 2006 purchases.

i could go on...fed up of insurance bills? place bets with bookies instead! Let's face it: it's the same concept.

but then there are some downright ridiculous entries. i mean, these are meant to be things we didn't know last year. a towel doesn't legally reserve a sun lounger. no! surely we would positively expect that somewhere down the line tax payers money has been wasted by an ancient conservative government proposing some sort of legal lounger regulation for our annual 16.72 day summer. 99% of pumpkins we buy are made into lanterns. of course they are - have you ever eaten one? bill gates doesn't own an ipod. i mean come on, get a grip! do you think that the md of tescos ever shops at sainsburys?

overall though, i'd like to think i have filled my head with more useless, strange but true information, just like those books you give your dad every christmas. and i fully identify with george bernard shaw, who, not wanting to tell outright lies, named his garden shed 'London' so when unwelcome guests visited his house, his absence could be legitimately qualified.

my good friend and monopoly nemesis peter has recently both passed his driving test and bought a house in croyden. being part of the legal fraternity (you never know what these people really get up to) peter, you should know that there are more cctv cameras in your new neighbourhood than in new york; that driving at 159mph takes over a third of a mile to stop (and if you're good enough at your job you'll also get yourself off the hook); and that your analysis of the orange sites is correct: they are tactically the best properties to own. although having said that, i don't see the royal opera house milking that claim for all it's worth...